Crossroads

Crossroads always come in your life

You choose one and let the other go

I always chose the one – right, good, practical for me

But, this one time it’s difficult

My life changes if I take the wrong turn, take the wrong pick or go with the wrong option

But no, it’s not only about that

Had it been, I would have been hesitant

In choosing my education, profession, even my location

But this one time, it’s different

Matters of the heart, fuck up the head

Rose coloured glasses, blur your vision

Confusion, utter madness takes over

And this frustration wells up my eyes

And I cry.

Why is it so difficult to let go and move on?

Why is it so difficult to forget and start anew, afresh?

All will be, all right in time to come

My heart will heal and pieces fuse back into one,

But this period, of deciding to hold on or let go,

Is difficult, it’s killing me.

No I am not depressed,

I can still laugh and make people laugh,

Still do my work well, and go out and shop

But despite all the pretense, the outward appearance

I know something’s amiss

I am not me anymore

And I want this to end.

I am afraid of taking a wrong turn, choosing the wrong bend.

Crossroads always come in life,

You choose one and let the other go,

That is how we grow!

(I hope I am able to choose right and grow out of it soon)

Written on 12^th February 2013